It has been about 3 weeks since my last post both because A) blogging takes discipline and B) life has interfered. I was anxious to begin this blog with stories of my summer adventures in Guatemala and Chicago but was kindly reminded by life that she has her own plans. My angst to post about my summer was quickly halted by a sudden interruption, a death. Thus in this post I take a moment to share, process, and reflected upon this sudden interruption that cause some dolor.
I am a theologian. I study all things God (or something like that). And within such study there are some things I am certain of about concerning God. I generally do not question the mystery or sovereignty of God. Growing up Roman Catholic I learned early on what it meant to have a reverence or fear God. And typically I will debate and questions folk's theology when it comes to matters such as Christology, atonement, and or some other church doctrine but rarely if ever God's mystery or sovereignty. But there are these moments in life when your theology gets shaken and my moment was July 10.
When I heard the news that a friend and fellow theologian had died in a motorcycle accident, I was dumbfounded. All my theological education and understanding went out the window. My immediate reaction was to regress to middle school when a fellow classmate died and I had asked God why people had to die. I recall the memory so vividly and suddenly I found myself a 12 year old again pleading with God to change the circumstance. Why did he have to die? Was there a higher purpose for death? A good God could not create us just to die in an accident? Is his death meant to teach us something? What kind of God teaches this way? What about his wife & young children? What are they to make of this? I recall grasping for air to breath after receiving the news of my friend, searching for words to help my extroverted soul make meaning of this sudden interruption in my life. At that same moment I was reminded of the verse in James which says: "Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes (James 4:14, NRSV)." Vanishes!? Does that mean we should embrace YOLO? Does that prompt us to seize the day for Jesus and be all that we can be? My cynicism prompted me to immediately reacted against that line of thinking. As I processed it more deeply I became more frustrated with it. What sense could I if any make of this death?
I'm not certain I have come to a conclusion on what sense if any this death makes but only to remind myself to live fully, to love others, and to remember that God is sovereign. To let go of cynicism and doubt recalling that God allows us to live freely on "borrowed time." Is this just part of God's mystery? quizas?
No se but what I do know is that Noe was an amazing human and theologian. He lived a joyful life. He was loved by many and touched many people's lives. His memorial service was filled beyond capacity. I am thankful to have met him and I look forward to seeing him again one day. I think Noe led a life with echoed James sentiment well. He lived life even with all of its obstacles and pains...he lived it. So this post is dedicated to Noe. May we live before we vanish and if we vanish before our time may we have lived to to the fullest without regrets! Amen!
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